Life is fucking peachy. I got accepted onto the course I really wanted to do next year at college and got offered a job interview yesterday. I was starting to worry that I was doing something really wrong as neither the college or any jobs were getting back to me! I also just got back from holiday, my first in three years and it was incredible. The only downside is my mums illness is getting harder and harder to deal with as she is now constantly lashing out at me and trying to wear me down. I'll survive though I think we both have tough lessons to learn but that's a blog for another day.
I LOVE WALES. Everybody was so friendly and the way of life is so much better there and it's safe to say that when I move in September I will be going there. I just hope I don't develop a Welsh Accent, I can just imagine me rocking up back home to Bethnal Green and everyone's faces as I sound more Katherine Jenkins then Kat Slater. My friend Lee once said 'you're just like Kat Slater but you don't get as much sex', cheers geez. Although I have to admit I do own more than one leopard print dress and I'd love to own my own pub. It'd be a great excuse to stand there cracking dirty jokes all day and I'm sure Tracey would be a barmaid for me and we'd have a huge topless picture of Van Persie behind the bar, anyway enough about that.
Oh my god this song just came on my iPod http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bglEOTeBtqM (The Crown by Gary Byrd if you cba to open the link) When I was 3/4 and used to go to my dads at the weekend I used to dance to this song all the time with him. I'm going to have it at my funeral, that and Dream a little dream of me by Mama Cass.
Now you should all know my blogging style by now, I can't write a blog without having a rant and rave. I am going to be civilized and state the facts as they are. Although I am sure you will agree this guy is a complete tosser (see I'm being nice). As you know I've had a drama the past few months with my boyfriends ex and all that garb. Well one of his 'friends' turned against him. Instead of respecting everyone's privacy at a very difficult time, he is all his immaturity, decided to make details of things public and write several statuses about the situation aimed to disrupt the peace basically. God it's hard to write diplomatically on this, if I EVER saw him again I would use my boxing skills on his face, just saying but I know that this man is nothing like the image he puts out to people and that stops me being angry, in fact I write this smiling because I know. Anyway back to diplomat mode. I, as a person in my very late teens, was conducting myself in more of a respectable and mature manner than him, at nearly 30 years old. My main gripe with him was how he publicly turned on my boyfriend when in privacy he was texting my boyfriend, and when my boyfriend first broke the news he showed his support during a private chat. It just goes to show that men can be as bitchy and low-down as women can be.
My other gripe is this and I am not saying that he did it, but I KNOW he must've. I made it very hard for 'her' to find me on Facebook, setting my privacy settings so you basically can't find my profile unless you're my friend on Facebook. The only way that you can find my profile without being my friend on Facebook is if I add you or somebody sent you a link to my profile. The next thing I know I get a friend request from 'her' and all and sundry to do with her sending me messages. Unless Facebook magically removed my privacy settings, someone sent her a link to my profile and the only person who would have a motive to do so was him. That period of my life was a really stressful one because of things I was being sent and he brought all of that upon me for no reason other than I tried to be the diplomat for everyone and he didn't like the fact that I made him look like an idiot (insert stronger word here at your will).
He is not the 'loyal family man' he makes out to be. I can neither officially confirm or deny but I have been told, long before anybody fell out with anyone, that he has cheated on the mother of his children and that there are conversations on an instant messaging program, where he was chatting up another woman a few weeks before they were due to get married. I also asked him when his next child is due and he didn't know.... how can anyone not know when their child is due? He also does other things that make me and others wonder, how can you harp on about being a decent father, when you do things like that. He texted my boyfriend asking him to meet him at a pub this weekend, acting like he'd not done anything. I can safely say we will be MILES away from that pub. He is a huge negative force and brought me so much unnecessary pain by allowing 'her' to get to me. I wish him all the best for the future and good health to him and his family.
I'm going to have to ruin my rainbow by typing in black now Oh well. I just had a very interesting phone call from an old agent of mine. He's said that if I can get my size 6/8 butt back, he has some modelling work for me in September for a friends clothing website. My modelling is a strange one, I don't think I'm at all attractive or photogenic but I'm great at taking awkward/gritty photos. To explain it better, you'll never see me looking all pretty and polished in a glossy magazine or catolouge, but your likely to find me on a website selling t-shirts you've never heard of or photos for specialist magazines (not THOSE kind you dirty minded person). I'm amazed to be offered work again and am totally up for it, only problem is it means a diet and exercise. :( pop tarts are too good to give up.
Black Obsidian - a very protective stone, quite a scary one as it makes you face up to your true self including your past, when you've done that it protects you and repels negative thoughts (the small black one)
Amazonite - is a very soothing stone. It's supposed to help with your health and to see other sides of an argument. It helps soothe emotional trauma and calm you when aggravated. (the green one next to the orange one)
Carnelian - (The orange one) It gives you energy to get up and go do things, it also makes you feel free.
Gold tiger eye- It protects you from negative energy, focuses the mind and helps with anxiety.
Flourite - it cleanses your aura, and absorbs and neutralizes stress. It's you to learn and feel self confident, and most importantly helps manage spinal injuries (my back has been giving me major gip recently where it's healed over so this has been a god send) (The clear green-y one)
Dalmation stone - (The one that looks like a dalmatian...) It simply helps you to see your strengths and use them, it helps you feel loyal in your relationships and helps boost the immune system.
Hematite - (The one that looks like a chunk of metal) haha i just realised you can see a reflection of me taking the photo in this stone lol. It helps you to concentrate and focus. It helps with endurance, strength and makes you feel secure.
Leopard Skin Jasper - ( The grey one with beige spots) It helps with spiritual discovery and self-healing
Mookaite- ( Front Middle) It basically gives you a big warm cuddle when you need it. Not physically obviously but mentally.
and finally Picture Jasper - (Front right) It helps bring hidden emotions to the surface and helps you release them.
The other crystals you can see are Rose Quartz, Smokey Quartz, Opal and Amethyst, oh and a blood stone (the one that looks like it has chicken pox)
Seeing as I can't say to it to her face, I just want to tell my little sister EJ that I love her to bits and miss her every day and think of her practically all the time. Your big sister 'Pony' will see you soon and we can build another Lego Cinema xxxxx She will be 6 this month and I'm not invited to her birthday. She's such a big girl now and it's so lovely to see her learning to read and write, she even won a handwriting award recently! She is the light of my life and I love her so much it hurts to think about her and that I can't see her. Sending lots of love and kisses to my two 12 year old sisters AJ+ AJ (don't ask lol). Family means the world to me which is why I am so excited to know I will be getting a new little cousin soon and going to a big family reunion at the end of July xxxxxxx
I am totally Fable 2 mad at the moment. No no no the original Fable just won't do it must be Fable 2. At first I was skeptical, I'd only really had a bit of a bash at COD and Pacman before. I hated XBOX and didn't want to play Fable 2. A month later I was HOOKED. I have already got further then Rolo at it, and I'm just loving the game. I love finding places and glitches other people haven't and I'm getting better and better at it and even have an XBOX live account now. Well that was until a gloomy Friday afternoon last week. The XBOX got accidentally kicked and now the game won't work anymore. I tried to save it so many times, and anything short of having a funeral for the disc, was devastated. But now I'm looking at it this way, it's just an excuse to buy Fable 3 (yes I know it came out donkeys ago).
Oooh it's my birthday soon :D I love birthdays, weddings and christenings. I want this birthday to be special because last year's sucked. Let's just say it was a landmark birthday... and I wanted to celebrate by going out and getting spectacularly drunk. I ended up sitting in a park with a crying friend, swiftly followed a night in the hospital and I didn't even get one drink. This year I want fireworks, booze, shoes and a new Swatch. Ok that's a lie, what I'd love more than anything is for my sisters to visit me for the day maybe my niece and nephew too, and to have a bouncy castle in the back garden all of us can jump on and lots of cake and me and the mini-me's can play around all afternoon and because it's August the weather will be great!
Ok well once again, thank you for listening to me ramble on. Life is good and it's getting better. The future is bright and I can't wait. It just occoured to me how long this is, whoops sorry! I'll love you and leave you, peace, love and kisses
xxx
