Things I'm thinking right now.

Hello.


I just found some photos of me closing my first sale WAHOO. That was the best feeling in the world at 16 years old to be talking to a couple who were in their late 50's selling them worktops at 300000000x the price of what they were actually worth. I felt like the queen of sales, like every time I walked into the showroom everyone should curtsy  and  roll out red carpet whilst a celestial choir sung and the wind blew my hair about. Well that feeling lasted for ten seconds. 
Working in sales is a job where you act glossy and enthusiastic all day then you go home and drink gin like a sailor to numb out the pain of the drudgery.  So glad I quit that shit. 


My waistline is vastly expanding. I don't know why. I want to be skinny and toned and look amazing in a bikini, but frankly I like food too much. I'd rather eat 1000 chocolate bars then a salad. I like booze too much to stop drinking it and I'm slowly working my way out of my size 8 jeans with every bite of this doughnut I'm eating *sigh* I'd rather lay on the sofa drinking beer and eating chips then go jogging. I'm thinking of getting one of those pad things you always see with a tanned woman laying on a sofa eating popcorn, where you hook yourself up to the mains and electrocute your way to a six pack. I'd rather have a 6 pack of Carling! 


Please tell me I'm not the only person that mimes along to a song when they're listening to it and pretends that they are actually singing it?
 Right now I'm pretending I'm Drake and I'm not afraid to admit it (ok well I am that's why I put it on my blog rather then my Facebook status but you get the jist) I'm even dancing around like a psychopath ,god knows what my neighbor thinks. She must think she lives next door to a heard of elephants with a penchant for playing twister. 


Just a quick message to the females of the town I live in: SHUT YOUR LEGS, USE A CONDOM AND GET A JOB AND STOP SPONGING OFF PEOPLE WHO CAN BE ARSED TO WORK. YOU HAVE NO NEED FOR BENEFITS THE ONLY REASON THAT YOU ARE ON THEM IS BECAUSE YOU ARE BONE IDLE AND LAZY AND LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN CREATING SEVERAL CHILDREN THAT YOU CAN CLAIM MONEY FOR. LEAVE THE BENEFITS FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE ILL AND HAVE A GENUINE NEED FOR THEM AND GO WORK IN PRIMARK WHERE YOU BELONG *ahem* 


*cough cough nudge nudge* 


I can feel another protest coming on with all this talk of budget cuts, I can feel it. It's like an itch that needs to be scratched. I need to shout and hold a sign and shout some more.  I love a good protest. 


I really like my bed at the moment it's soo warm and cosy and lovely and just mmmm. Would be even better if my OH was in it with me ;) Being ill is giving me some crazy ass dreams. It must be the cough medicine but damn the dreams it gives me I should be bagging this stuff up and selling it by the ounce. Last night I dreamt of a normal day but everyone was a snake with a human face and the night before I had a horrible death dream. 


I love you too, I just wish your mother would have hugged you too. 


Have you ever tried gooseberry yoghurt? It is GORGEOUS. 


A couple of my friends have been away in Cornwall and I have missed them being online and talking to them. I can't wait to catch up with them.  Although I'm sure they've kept each other perfectly occupied in a way I'd rather not hear the gory details of ;) 


I miss my OH, I need a cuddle.


God damn the NHS. I have my hand in a sling and am in constant pain because they refuse to do anything until I finish taking their ridiculous tablets, which have done nothing but make me ill. My finger is in constant pain which has now spread down to my arm and wrist. Are you telling me that’s normal? They have left me taking antibiotics  and refused to lance my finger or investigate further meaning the infection has now spread down my arm and probably into my bone. They barely looked at it and just threw a prescription at me. Then I go to A&E for a nurse to just tell me ‘Don’t bother coming back until you've finished the antibiotics’ while I was crying in pain because my hand has swelled up and ushered me out the door. 8^th wonder of the world my arse. They are too quick to throw tablets at you these days. 


I've run out of steam now, that is all my rambling done for one night. 


Adios


The incessant rambler x